my morning musings

I just read my niece Tracy's latest post on her blog, and started to write a comment to her, but decided as it got longish that I would make it a post of my very own. Tracy, as most of you know, is a busy mom of five. She is a wonderful person, an amazing mother, and has talents in many areas. I admire her. I think I am about seven years further down the road of life from her, but I look up to her and appreciate her example. Her post talked about the delicate balancing act that is motherhood.

I'm pondering whether to even ring in on this issue -- so much to say but probably so little to contribute! I guess I am now a "middlish-mom", rather than a youngish mom. Yesterday was our first day of school, and I was standing on the playground of the elementary school with some of my 'middlish' friends after we had just dropped off our youngest children. In this particular group, we had combined mothering experience totalling 91 years. We were noticing all the young, cute moms (we've termed them the 'snowboarding moms' for some reason) who were dropping off their first children. They were eager, some looked stressed -- we collectively were . . . neither. Just peaceful, maybe a little tired (we had to get up with our Seminary kids, after all), with a different perspective than we used to have. We were chuckling about how we used to be so much better at being involved in all the school stuff than we are now. And we realized, somewhat wistfully, that none of these younger, eager moms had any idea how much we've contributed in the past. We've made many phone calls, volunteered at school events, attended countless meetings, balanced many things, and managed the chaos. Now we kiss our kids and say, "see you after school!" and politely decline when asked to be the PTSA Treasurer for the year or organize the clean-up crew for the school barbecue. Don't get me wrong, we still volunteer in our kids' classrooms, go on field trips, etc. but we have somewhat lower expectations of ourselves now. Sometimes in commercials or movies there will be someone who is standing still or moving slowly while everything around them moves in super-fast motion. That's sorta what we felt like, and in some way we felt rather sorry for the anxious fast-movers. And also very grateful for them! Somebody's got to keep up the enthusiasm and clean up after the barbecue!

The five of us decided to go out for a spontaneous breakfast at Mom & Pop's Diner where we sat, laughed, reminisced and marveled at the passage of time. One of us just married off her oldest child this summer (I taught her in what used to be Achievement Days). Another one has her oldest serving a mission (I used to drive him to Cub Scouts). My oldest is a senior in high school and counting down the minutes until he can launch, while in the meantime figuring out the ups and downs of having a steady girlfriend. The other two moms have oldest daughters who are Kristi's age, so we were discussing hormones, messy bedrooms and AP classes. Three hours later we thought we'd better go home and clean up the before-school dishes before our kids started coming home and wondered what we'd done all day!

I am not fortunate to live close to any of my family, immediate or extended. But I am fortunate to have friends who I have known since we were young moms, and who I hope to have until we are old grandmothers. When I sheepishly admitted to Keith last night about how I spent my morning, his comment was, "You guys deserved it." I would agree.

I don't think there's any way to avoid the chaos that is motherhood. And so if we continue to strive to avoid it, we will feel frustrated daily. I am definitely a control freak to some degree, and if my house isn't relatively tidy at all times I feel like I can't breathe. When the noise level rises too high, I can't think straight and I start to shut down. So the kids came home yesterday and unloaded (their feelings and their backpacks), and it was noisy and messy and there were forms that needed signing, and complaints that needed hearing, and lists of school supplies to purchase, and everyone needed my attention at the same time. And I needed a walk around the block. But we tackled each thing one by one and slowly the chaos diminished. The rest of the day included tennis practice for Kristi, soccer practice for Austin, golfing with the missionaries for Brennan (it was their P-Day and Brennan has a friend that works at the golf course that he's trying to share the gospel with), and I did get my walk around the block in, with Dallin. We managed to have dinner together, though it was short, and the house was peaceful by 9. Well, maybe 10.

And today's a new day. I'm not sure there is much better advice in the delicate balance of motherhood than to try anew with each rising sun. Pray and count your blessings. Turn your worries over to the Lord as much as you can. Read the scriptures. Have faith and see the positive. Don't take things to personally or too seriously. Today's struggles pass to make room for tomorrow's, and the same can be said of the joys. Relationships matter more than most anything else. Adversity is real but is part of the plan so have faith, not fear.

And now for my bowl of cereal. Have a great day.