'09 Christmas Wishes

For those of you who read my blog but did not get a Christmas letter

in your mailbox this year, here's the electronic version.

LOVE TO ALL AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Ho, Ho, Ho, and Deck the Halls, the holidays are here.

It went so fast, and looking back, ‘09 was quite a year!
The economy staggered, then fell flat; and it’s been a bumpy ride.

PEAK’s hangin’on, at least for now, awaiting a shift in tide!

Our family now has three adults, since Brennan turned eighteen.

He’s leaving soon, which is awful and great, and everything in between!
For now he’s loving his senior year, and time is flying by.

He’s an Eagle Scout, and a starting guard for good old Carson High!

Kristi’s enduring her junior year, mostly with a smile.

Tho’ proficiency exams and AP classes can sometimes cramp her style.
She played tennis again this year, and keeps our piano in song;

Right now she’s training with a friend to run a half-marathon!

Austin is growing and changing fast – that comes with being thirteen!

He’s smart and fun, and a new Life Scout, which is pretty keen.
Austin played soccer in the fall and made the all-stars, too.

But, like his big bro’, he’d rather play guard on the team at his middle schoo’.

Dallin is ten now, believe it or not, leaving childhood quickly behind.

Sometimes we wish we could freeze him in time, or even push rewind!
He is playing bball too, with his trusty Coach Dad calling plays.

Helpful and funny; pretty smart too, we hope this is how he will stay!

Keith needs a break; a nice long vacation, to unwind and renew his vigor.
Instead he says yes to all who ask, and his plate just keeps getting bigger!
He spends time with the 14 and 15-year-old scouts - camping, biking, and more;
He works snack bars, sings at church functions, and serves on professional boards.

Karen has joined the ranks of moms who work outside the home,
But only part-time, at a local school, so there’s no cause to moan.
She enjoys her job, but better than that, she’s home when the kids are home.
And that makes her happy, and feeling okay, for she has no desire to roam.

All is well at the Shaffer’s house, and we hope you can say the same.
We hope the New Year will bring your desires, be they health, fortune, or fame!
We wish you all a joyful season, full of family and friends and love
And pray that you will feel the peace that comes from God above.

Stop the ride! I wanna get off!

So life is a little crazy. 'Tis the season.

I love the holiday season, but like most everyone, I do not enjoy the stress that rides alongside. I don't carry stress around with me every minute, which is good. But I do experience stressful moments, or hours, when I want to get off the ride.

Preparing for Christmas itself hasn't been all that stressful this year:

Tight Budget + Little Time = Christmas Simplification.

That part I have liked. The Christmas cards have been sent. Most of the presents are wrapped and under the tree, with only a few odds and ends left to take care of. Christmas cookies and toffee have been baked with more batches to follow. The weather has been both frightful and delightful. We even had a snow day last week (only the second in the past 13 years), which was honestly a tender mercy from above.

The part of the holidays that stresses me out is that the rest of life doesn't stop for them. My house still needs daily maintenance, my family needs to eat, the laundry must be done, and the ironing pile continues to grow. My older kids all have finals keeping them busy, and Dallin has a biography project on Abraham Lincoln due tomorrow. [His teacher obviously doesn't have kids yet, and thought it would be just fine to give them (and their moms) something huge to do the two weeks before Christmas! He has to dress up tomorrow -- hope I have some black posterboard to make a top hat!] Oh my, the missionaries coming to dinner (again). And the tail light in the truck is still burned out. Well, at least that costs less than the fuel pump the Suburban just needed. The service project at the womens' shelter is today?!? And oh, I better pay the bills. Austin's 8th-grade basketball season is now over, but Brennan's varsity season is just beginning, and I love the games and can't possibly miss! Keith is almost a one-man show at work now, so he works long days, has meetings and then basketball practices with Dallin; we hope to get reacquainted in January?

And oh yes, I am gone at work every day from 10:45 - 3:15. A small detail.

Our ward Christmas party is this Saturday. I have to bring a batch of 'funeral potatoes', Brennan and Austin are stage hands for the program, Kristi is playing piano accompaniment for the program, plus playing a guitar duet with a friend, and Dallin is a shepherd in the primary play. It will be great. But really, I just want us all to stay home and watch a movie. Sigh.

I am really looking forward to next week. No school (or work for me). Life will slow down. The house will get messy, and we will eat too much food. Brennan will spend what might be his last Christmas with us for awhile. Dramatic pause to contemplate that. Then he will leave for Las Vegas with his basketball team. Kristi's friend MacKenzie from Oregon will come for a visit. We will sleep in past 5:00 am and stay up late. We will watch movies, see family and friends, and play games. The stress will have melted away and we will feel the holiday joy. Just thinking about that helps the stress to melt a little right now.

Take a deep breath, and have a Happy Holiday!

a weekend getaway

Living in Nevada means we get the last Friday in October off school every year for Nevada Day, which commemmorates Nevada's statehood. This means a long weekend at a beautiful time of year, and the opportunity to plan something fun to do. One year we took an extra day off and went to Disneyland. That was fun and plenty crowded. This year we returned for the fifth time to a little place we like to call "our" cabin. It was fun as always, and not crowded at all, which is a big plus in my book. It's the perfect little getaway; about 2 hours away, over the Sierras near Nevada City, CA. The weather was perfect, there was no cell phone service, and we were able to spend some much-needed down time with each other. It was bittersweet to hear Brennan say, as we were packing up the car to leave, that this might be his last trip to the cabin with us. I know I've been on this theme a lot lately, but that's where we are. Change is hard, even when it's good!





we played a lot of cards:


Austin caught a lizard (of course!):


Kristi didn't do a stitch of homework!:


And the boys even got to watch some NBA action:


Oh, the things you can get away with when the camera has a timer:
(click to enlarge the faces of my little comedians)


Wishing everyone a wonderful November!

ready or not

Just Yesterday . . .

And Today . . .

Times, they are a'changin'.

Me, a Working Mom?!?

Let me first say . . .

I believe every mom is a working mom.

I've been working hard for many years now in the Mom Business. And I couldn't have asked for a more challenging or rewarding career.





This is, in fact, the outfit I usually wear to work each day. It's very slimming, don't you think?

But, with my oldest a senior in high school and my youngest in fourth grade, I have entered a new and interesting phase of 'momhood', and thus have been able to join the ranks of "working moms who spend part of their day earning a paycheck".

For the past year or so, I've been looking for opportunities within the school district, since that would allow me to be home when my children are home. I could think of many reasons why I could and should become a substitute teacher, and very few credible reasons why I shouldn't (except for the giant pit in my stomach whenever I thought about it).

Thus, at the beginning of this school year I began the process towards becoming a sub. But then a delightful thing happened. I will spare you all the details, but suffice it to say that a series of 'happenstances' over a couple of weeks culminated in my becoming aware of an opening for a part-time position at a nearby elementary school. Something compelled me to drive over to the school and introduce myself to the vice principal, and within two hours of hearing about the opening, I was hired. Whew, be careful what you wish for!

I work from 11-3 each day. I have seven students every eight weeks that I tutor in reading one-on-one. The school is an "at-risk" school, which means they have grant money for a special school-wide reading program. The tutoring supplements this reading program for the neediest children, most of whom are Hispanic and therefore, mostly spoke Spanish before they spoke English. I have my own desk and computer, as do the other six tutors. The people I work with are wonderful, the children are so sweet, and the schedule just couldn't be much better.

My goal has been that this job would have a minimal impact on my family. And so far, I think that's been true. My mornings have gotten much busier out of necessity, but it's a pretty perfect schedule. The only downside is that I also have to do some playground duty each day, which is pretty mindless, but as I'm getting to know the kids better it is getting more enjoyable.

ANYWAY, I'm back in the outside-the-home workforce for the first time since 1991; wow! I am grateful it has been a relatively easy transition. A couple of days ago there was a bouquet of flowers sitting on my desk when I arrived at work. The card read:

We are all very happy that you are our wife and Mom, so don't get too attached to those other kids at your new job! We love you and appreciate all you do. Love, Keith and the kids

Life is good.

twenty-one years, but who's counting???

Last month, Keith and I celebrated our twenty-first year of marriage. Wow, right?? Which means I have been married for as long as I was single. That is kind of a crazy thing to wrap my mind around. We have spent most of our entire adult lives together -- what a weird and wonderful thing that is.

Last year for our big 20th, we had tentively planned a trip to the Pacific Northwest. It was going to be great. Instead, Keith got (not-too-reluctantly) pulled into coaching Austin's football team, so on our anniversary he was on the sidelines and we were not in the Pacific Northwest. This year, he is not coaching, but with money tight, we took a very speedy retreat to nearby Lake Tahoe instead. We were only gone from home for about 30 hours, and although we would love to have stayed a month, it was better than nothing. I surprised him by making reservations for the Heavenly Flyer, the longest zipline in the lower 48. To ride that, you first have to take a Gondola ride up to Heavenly ski resort, then take a ski lift even further up, and then take the 80-second, 60 mph, 525 foot drop ride from there. I told him that I thought it was symbolic of the ride of marriage. It was gorgeous up there, and SO MUCH FUN; I would recommend it to all of you on your next Tahoe vacation.

Here we are, most of the way up on the Gondola (in the background). The gondola ride was way more scary to me than the zipline. I hate the bumpy feeling as it goes over the joints, so I took the chance to hop off for a few minutes and regain my courage for the rest of the vertical journey.

Here we are at the top. Pretty high!


Here we are in line for the Heavenly Flyer. Perhaps Keith was saying a final quick prayer?


And there are the sturdy, safe harnesses. Oh my.

Keith tried to take pictures of me on the way down, but as you might imagine, he had a difficult time balancing the camera from his zipline, so the pictures were all blurry. But for a quick peak into the ride, check out http://www.skiheavenly.com/mountain/heavenly_flyer/ .

I'm grateful for the fun ride of marriage. And I think since the first 21 years have worked out so well, Keith and I might try for a few more.

my morning musings

I just read my niece Tracy's latest post on her blog, and started to write a comment to her, but decided as it got longish that I would make it a post of my very own. Tracy, as most of you know, is a busy mom of five. She is a wonderful person, an amazing mother, and has talents in many areas. I admire her. I think I am about seven years further down the road of life from her, but I look up to her and appreciate her example. Her post talked about the delicate balancing act that is motherhood.

I'm pondering whether to even ring in on this issue -- so much to say but probably so little to contribute! I guess I am now a "middlish-mom", rather than a youngish mom. Yesterday was our first day of school, and I was standing on the playground of the elementary school with some of my 'middlish' friends after we had just dropped off our youngest children. In this particular group, we had combined mothering experience totalling 91 years. We were noticing all the young, cute moms (we've termed them the 'snowboarding moms' for some reason) who were dropping off their first children. They were eager, some looked stressed -- we collectively were . . . neither. Just peaceful, maybe a little tired (we had to get up with our Seminary kids, after all), with a different perspective than we used to have. We were chuckling about how we used to be so much better at being involved in all the school stuff than we are now. And we realized, somewhat wistfully, that none of these younger, eager moms had any idea how much we've contributed in the past. We've made many phone calls, volunteered at school events, attended countless meetings, balanced many things, and managed the chaos. Now we kiss our kids and say, "see you after school!" and politely decline when asked to be the PTSA Treasurer for the year or organize the clean-up crew for the school barbecue. Don't get me wrong, we still volunteer in our kids' classrooms, go on field trips, etc. but we have somewhat lower expectations of ourselves now. Sometimes in commercials or movies there will be someone who is standing still or moving slowly while everything around them moves in super-fast motion. That's sorta what we felt like, and in some way we felt rather sorry for the anxious fast-movers. And also very grateful for them! Somebody's got to keep up the enthusiasm and clean up after the barbecue!

The five of us decided to go out for a spontaneous breakfast at Mom & Pop's Diner where we sat, laughed, reminisced and marveled at the passage of time. One of us just married off her oldest child this summer (I taught her in what used to be Achievement Days). Another one has her oldest serving a mission (I used to drive him to Cub Scouts). My oldest is a senior in high school and counting down the minutes until he can launch, while in the meantime figuring out the ups and downs of having a steady girlfriend. The other two moms have oldest daughters who are Kristi's age, so we were discussing hormones, messy bedrooms and AP classes. Three hours later we thought we'd better go home and clean up the before-school dishes before our kids started coming home and wondered what we'd done all day!

I am not fortunate to live close to any of my family, immediate or extended. But I am fortunate to have friends who I have known since we were young moms, and who I hope to have until we are old grandmothers. When I sheepishly admitted to Keith last night about how I spent my morning, his comment was, "You guys deserved it." I would agree.

I don't think there's any way to avoid the chaos that is motherhood. And so if we continue to strive to avoid it, we will feel frustrated daily. I am definitely a control freak to some degree, and if my house isn't relatively tidy at all times I feel like I can't breathe. When the noise level rises too high, I can't think straight and I start to shut down. So the kids came home yesterday and unloaded (their feelings and their backpacks), and it was noisy and messy and there were forms that needed signing, and complaints that needed hearing, and lists of school supplies to purchase, and everyone needed my attention at the same time. And I needed a walk around the block. But we tackled each thing one by one and slowly the chaos diminished. The rest of the day included tennis practice for Kristi, soccer practice for Austin, golfing with the missionaries for Brennan (it was their P-Day and Brennan has a friend that works at the golf course that he's trying to share the gospel with), and I did get my walk around the block in, with Dallin. We managed to have dinner together, though it was short, and the house was peaceful by 9. Well, maybe 10.

And today's a new day. I'm not sure there is much better advice in the delicate balance of motherhood than to try anew with each rising sun. Pray and count your blessings. Turn your worries over to the Lord as much as you can. Read the scriptures. Have faith and see the positive. Don't take things to personally or too seriously. Today's struggles pass to make room for tomorrow's, and the same can be said of the joys. Relationships matter more than most anything else. Adversity is real but is part of the plan so have faith, not fear.

And now for my bowl of cereal. Have a great day.