civic duty? check.

I just finished serving on a jury for a federal court up in Reno. I reported, along with 122 other potential jurors, not one bit worried about ending up in the final twelve. But somehow I did, and all of a sudden my regular life was on hold, as, for two full weeks, I had to leave the house by 7:00 every morning, and did not return until between 6 and 6:30 at night. It was crazy on many levels, from hearing the intricacies of the case (over 60 witnesses), to dealing with the other jurors, with whom I could not discuss the case until it was over and we began deliberations. Some of them were an extreme test of my patience and good will, with their bad language, habits, and manners. A couple of people couldn't seem to say a single sentence without a colorful word inserted somewhere. Others didn't feel the need to cover their mouths when they coughed or sneezed. Some needed regular breaks to go outside and smoke, and one guy decided he could still chew his tobacco in the jury room as long as he had a water bottle to spit it in. Two jurors refused to talk at all. I really tried to be pleasant to all, or at least tolerant, and it really tested me at times! For a week and a half, every time we were sent to the jury room for a break, this group of strangers had to talk about everything EXCEPT the one thing we had in common. Finally it was time for deliberations. What a process -- it took three DAYS, during which we were in a small room with no windows. We had to be escorted by an armed court officer during any breaks we took for fresh air. We were able to go home at night, thankfully; although we had a bad winter storm for a few days, and that commute nearly did me in a few times.

On Day Two of deliberations, I had apparently run out of patience, because when the tobacco-spitting Juror #7 decided to make yet another rude and off-colored joke, I heard myself come to life and tell everyone that we were not going to speak this way anymore. I told him (and of course everyone else) that since this was currently "my workplace", I had some rights, and I wasn't going to put up with the language and stories anymore. As you might imagine, there was an immediate ripple of awkwardness that went through the room, and then Juror 7 said, "Okay, I'm sorry. I will be more careful." I said, "I would really appreciate that. Let's move on." Inside I was thinking, "did I really just do that?"

Things improved. It still wouldn't have been safe for my mom to be in the room, haha, but things improved. At least after that, when there were things to apologize for, the apologies came without me intervening. Professionalism increased. I can only wonder what they have said about me since, but I am happy in hindsight that I let them know that I am a person of principles. Anyway, long story short - there were two defendants, each indicted on 62 counts (32 mail fraud, 26 wire fraud, 4 money laundering). After pouring over the evidence, scrutinizing financial records and money trails, we found them guilty of most of those counts. My head hurt every day. It's not easy to contribute to someone's prison sentence. There were tears in the courtroom from the female defendant as the verdict (each count for each defendant - it took forever) was read. Tears and then quiet-ish sobbing. I couldn't look. In the research I have done on the internet since the trial ended, I have found out that these two have been to trial for at least two past fraud schemes, and it looks like one of them has been to prison before. I felt less guilty about the crying then. Suffice it to say that it was a very unique experience, and one that I am most glad to have behind me.

Next up was my birthday - you can do the math if you want, but I'm not going to mention how strangely old I am getting. It fell on President's Day holiday, which was a tender mercy after having been away from my family for what seemed like years. They were very good to me on the homefront, but my favorite present was a letter from Brennan addressed to the Birthday Girl. He emails home faithfully every week, but this was a handwritten letter just for me. Honestly I'm not sure he has remembered my birthday voluntarily any other year, so it was special. He is learning and growing and maturing so much, it is a pretty amazing thing. It is clear to us that he is truly finding himself as he loses himself in the service of others (and God). I will share a great story from this week's email:

"This week has been the best of my mission. We taught 31 lessons!!!!! and we found 8 new investigators, and we set 5 baptismal dates!!!! Things have been just so amazing. We have worked so hard this week - I feel that the only thing I remember looking back at the past wek is laying down to go to bed and waking up! I can't believe how much the Lord is blessing us! 31 lessons is a lot of lessons by the way; I remember at the beginning of my mission here we were averaging 5-7 lessons per week, now we teach that daily. We have a baptism set up for March 5. His name is Norman LeFlame. I wish so bad you could meet him, we've been teaching him on and off since the beginning of January, and earlier last week we told him that we couldn't come by anymore because he wasn't keeping commitments. But we gave him one more chance and stopped by the next day to see if he had read and prayed. When we did, an amazing miracle happened. We walked in and we talked to him and he said he's 110 percent into it now. He said he read, prayed, and went to mormon.org, and then he had a dream. He said he woke up and knew this is where he needed to be, so we asked him if he would prepare himself to be baptized on March 5 and he said, 'of course'. But here's the real miracle -- he and his inactive brother Joey live together, collect disability checks, and do almost nothing else every day. They smoke packs and packs of cigarettes a day because they have nothing else to do. And they drink a ton of coffee. So after he said he wanted to be baptized I girded up my loins and asked if I could then take his coffee maker . . . he said YES, and so I unplugged his coffee maker, and took all his coffee/tea. Then I asked about smoking and you could tell they were scared to give that up. They had one pack left and they said after that pack they wouldn't smoke anymore. But I said nope, and asked if I could have that pack, and they said yes - both of them actually committed to stop smoking and drinking and everything else. A true miracle!! I can't even begin to explain to you the happiness I feel, and the change I've seen in their lives."

Keith and I always said that if Brennan could just channel that strong will of his in the right direction, he might be okay! And there you have it.

Well, time to end this marathon post. One last thing -- thank you for helping out with Kristi's cookbook project. I really hope everyone will send some favorite recipes. Any McGee relatives reading this - would you please make sure your mom knows? I know she doesn't check her email often. I think the new cookbook will be something we will all use and love, so let's make it a good one! I am speaking to myself as well, since I haven't gathered any recipes for her yet!

Well, onward and upward. Make it a great day!

long time no blog

Wow, how is it the END of January already?!?!? I guess I've arrived here one day at a time just like the rest of you, but it does blow my mind a little.

So a quick update. Our holidays were good -- not terribly relaxing but good. Basketball tournaments, Kristi's senior project research paper due, moving Keith out of his suite of offices and back into a one-man office, having the missionaries in our home teaching the lessons to a high school friend of Brennan's -- all these combined with the regular festivities of the season kept us moving at a quicker pace than I might have liked, but at least most of those things were enjoyable.

We were able to talk to Brennan on Christmas day, which was wonderful! Our phone rang at 6:00 a.m. with Brennan's cheery voice on the other end telling us "Merry Christmas! It's time to get up!" And then he said, "I'll call you back later!" That still makes me smile thinking about it. He did call later and it was awesome to be able to talk with him and get instant answers to questions, etc. He is happy and working hard and enjoying everything about being on a mission. He is serving in Radcliff, KY which is next to Fort Knox military base. So he has met a lot of military families and learned quite a bit about the military lifestyle. His emails are sprinkled with a few "y'all's" and several "HOO-AH's". He has expressed how much he loves the people and how it amazes him that just a couple of months ago, he didn't know any of them. He is on a bike 100% of the time, and they have had freezing, snowy and icy weather the whole time he's been there. He has crashed his bike several times, broken the shifting gears and bent the handlebars but apparently it still works. In this week's email he expressed how much he loves being a part of something bigger than himself. I just can't tell you what a tremendous blessing this feels like to us. Chokes me up!!!!

Dallin is having a fun community bball season and they are winning games when they thought they might not ever make a basket (Coach Keith has a lot to do with that); Austin is playing well on his freshman team -- he's the starting point guard and is really enjoying it. Last night however, he opted to miss a GAME (not just a practice) to go with our ward's youth to the temple for baptisms. He's one of 3 LDS kids on the team, and the only one who made that choice. He's such a good kid. Kristi is too busy for anyone's good, and is feeling the stress of all of her current responsibilities. She has been accepted to BYUI and is awaiting word from Provo. We have no doubt that she will get in, but if I were her I'd be ready to say, "I'm taking a year off to sleep. Then maybe I'll go to college." We'll see.

Keith and I have received new callings in the ward: I am now the T for our T teacher in RS and Keith is the YM's President. When the bishop called me, he ran down a few of my last callings and when he counted to 15 straight years working with youth or children, he quit counting and said, "Sister Shaffer, I think it's time for you to be with the grownups." It's a whole new world. As for Keith, he's been the 1st counselor in the YM's for a couple of years already so this doesn't feel all that new.

Okay time for work. I guess it's not time for me to be with grownups in every aspect of my life! Here's a pix we had taken the week before Brennan left. I don't know why it's blurry here, but you get the idea. I love these people!!!!!!!!!!

pretty awesome.

If you ever need a boost of faith, watch your 19-year-old son prepare to serve a mission. Then for a further boost, read his letters from the MTC. Brennan's mission adventure has just begun -- he's only been gone two weeks -- but the blessings are already coming.


Here is a picture of Brennan with David and Michael the night before he entered the MTC. He was excited and nervous! And ready to get started.

The MTC drop-off is truly just that. Keith thinks he was in the parking lot for less than five minutes. So no pictures! There was barely time for a hug goodbye before he was whisked off. Keith got a little choked up as he was driving away and seeing from a distance the hundreds of missionaries in the parking lot. The Army of Helaman!! Apparently 750 missionaries entered the MTC the same day as Brennan. I don't know if that's a typical Wednesday or not, but wow.

It was very difficult for us to see him go! Harder than I thought it would be. I realized I have been fairly unsympathetic to Missionary Moms over the years - only seeing the excitement of it rather than the misery! Having our first go represents such a change for our family. We are no longer a family of six at the dinner table, for instance. I know I will have them all at the table again in the future, BUT the 'days of six' are over. We are unbalanced and it's awkward passing over the empty place. We feel puny without Brennan's big personality.

But the flip side of this is the amazing joy I feel that he is where he is, doing what he is doing. I almost can't believe it's happening. We have always talked about a mission as if it's a given, but Brennan would never have gone if it was only to please us. I remember the day a couple of years ago when I went into his room to put some laundry away and saw a handwritten note taped to his wall that said, "Be worthy to serve a mission". I knew that day the decision to serve a mission had become personal to him. And because he didn't stray from that decision, here we are.

Here's a line or two from his first letter home after being in the MTC for a week:

I LOVE it here. I really do. I’ve taught multiple lessons already. I am learning so much! I’ve never studied harder in my life, but I love doing it. I don’t know if I want to leave the MTC!

And from his email yesterday after his second week:

I have not had that tough of a time here so sleep easy mom, your boy is fine. I know you have prayed for me because I have felt it. I have not been homesick and I've actually helped some elders going through that. My testimony is growing everyday, I know this is where I need to be without a doubt. I have never worked so hard in my life which is weird because most of the day I'm sitting down. But I love it! I have a long way to go to be the servant the Lord knows I can be and wants me to be. I love you guys so much!!! Mom thanks for everything, you have done so much for me thank you.

It feels so good to know that he is happy and finding joy in the Lord's work. He leaves for Kentucky on Monday and then the adventure really begins. We are proud of him, and thankful for the example of missionary work in our extended family -- for his grandfathers, father, uncles, and many cousins who have served willingly and faithfully. The gospel is true!

his life is flashing before my eyes

We will be having an open house for Brennan on November 7th (and for a sweet couple who are leaving on their mission the same week). We wish you could all come and eat "Sunday Sundaes" with us. In the background we will be playing this slideshow (disclaimer -- it's LONG so I don't honestly expect anyone but me to watch the whole thing, but I couldn't resist posting it!):

Create a free digital slideshow

one more picture . . .

. . . to add to the picture theme of my last post.



Saturday marked a significant and wonderful day for our family when Brennan went to the temple for the first time. We are joined in the picture by two of Keith's brothers and their wives, as well as his parents. It was a special day!

all in a day's work (and pictures!)

It was a day of contrasts at work today. Here's one end of the spectrum: I tutor a first-grader named Anthony and today his mom came to school during his tutoring time to meet me. She told me that she had to come meet Mrs. Shaffer because Anthony talks about me all the time at home and tells his mom that tutoring is his favorite part of his school day. She sat in on our tutoring session, raved about how much it is helping Anthony, and even brought me a pretty flower! It really perked me up because only an hour earlier . . . I had a tutoring session with another first-grader named Zackery.

Zackery likes to do things his way every day. Which is fine on some days because his ways coincide with my lesson plan for the day, but sadly for him, most days this is not the case. Even after lots of patience and cheerfully using all my tricks to help him get down to business, I had to take him back to class a little early after he drew in a book and then dumped a box of crayons on the floor instead of working. On the way back to class he was so frustrated with me that he declared, "You're fired!" Oh, Zack, if wishes were fishes.

So thanks for the flower, Anthony's mom! And T.G.I.F.!!

------------------

And now for some pictures:

Kristi bought a WIG for a leadership thing, and then this happened:

Explanation: Kristi is Kristi and Dallin is willing.

But I have no explanation for Austin.



Speaking of Austin, here is how he spent his summer:

practicing for football . . .

hiking Half-Dome at Yosemite with Brennan for a scout high-adventure trip:


dear old Dad made it too!



dizzying heights at the top . . .


Then it was rafting the Merced River:


and doing a little rock jumping:

And then climbing Boundary Peak (highest point in NV at 13,700ish)

Here's Brennan, opening his mission call!

Kentucky Lousville, WAHOO!

As for Kristi, she/we had a fun time at girls' camp:

Keith was a dancing fool with the other camp dads:

And I had the good fortune of competing in a mullet contest:



But back to Kristi -- this is the picture of her that says it all:

Am I ready to face this all over again????? I'm not so sure.

easing back in

You know how it is -- the longer you wait to do something, the more difficult it gets. And so it goes with the blog. The last few months have been pretty full, and I simply have not made any time for this somewhat guilty pleasure. Looks like today's the day to ease back in. Probably without pictures.

Quick recap of summer: it was a blur. Again! This 'blur phenomenon' quietly irritates me. I can't figure out what we're doing wrong, but we rarely have any time to just be.

Brennan continued to work at Lowe's over the summer, and got his mission papers ready to go. That included getting his medical and dental check-ups completed and getting his wisdom teeth out. There are funny stories that accompany each of those things which I won't go into, but they include fainting, a magic pill, and an attempted laughing gas overdose. And all for the cause of Zion.

Kristi got a job as a Teacher's Aid at the Child Development Center at nearby Western Nevada College. The job was a blessing monetarily, and she was grateful to get it, but the 35 hours she worked each week really added to her stressful summer. Because she had signed up for 4 AP classes and was elected vice-president of her senior class for this year, she had an inordinate amount of summer assignments due the first day of school. I am not kidding when I say it would a-m-a-z-e you the amount of work she had to do for each of her classes and for her leadership requirements. So she had no summer break to speak of. Which made me furious.

Austin is playing freshman football this year, which meant that his season began in June with the summer conditioning program. So he stayed busy with that, plus he also had summer assignments for his two Honors classes. He was busy with a few significant high-adventure activities for scouts as well (all with his dad, who is in the YM's presidency): climbing Half-Dome at Yosemite National Park, camping, whitewater rafting, and climbing Boundary Peak (highest peak in NV at 13,500ish ft). At some point I will post some pictures from those hikes because they are really something.

Dallin actually enjoyed his childhood by swimming in the backyard pool and playing with friends a lot. He loved riding his bike in the construction zone nearby in the evenings when the workers had left. Watching him made me happy because he so loved staying up late and sleeping in, eating popsicles, wearing his swimsuit all day, etc. Real summertime stuff! I did instigate "Webelos Wednesdays" and "Faith in God Fridays" because with our house running at such a quick pace, it is often easy to neglect those kinds of things in daily life. He is now working on his Arrow of Light before he turns 11 one month from today.

For me, summer was consistently busy with Girls' Camp preparations. I served (again) as the stake camp registration secretary, which sounds simple but is surprisingly involved and time-consuming! Camp was the first week in August, which meant that I spent most of the summer busy with preparations, and then once it was over, we only had two weeks until school began. Mentally that was sad. But camp was wonderful for us because this was Kristi's sixth and last year, and in addition to my being there with her again, Keith was called to be a camp dad, so the three of us were up there together and shared some fun and good times.

Well the school year hit us like a freight train with full days, short nights, and figuring out who gets what car on a daily basis. As most of you know, Brennan received his mission call to the Kentucky Louisville Mission, covering most of Kentucky, and parts of Illinois and Indiana. To say he is excited and eager to go is an understatement. He really got what he was hoping for: an English-speaking mission in a part of the US that he is unfamiliar with, with a climate and culture different than ours. Check, check, check. He reports to the MTC on November 17th, and he is counting the days. He is keeping fairly busy between work, a lot of pre-mission reading, and checking things off the packing list. He also has a darling girlfriend which he never intended to have before his mission, but sigh, what can you do.

Kristi kept her summer job and works M-F afternoons; about 18 hours/wk. As expected, she is burning the candle at both ends on a daily basis. She is constantly in motion, from trying to get to 6:00 am seminary on time, to keeping up with her homework, to serving in a thousand ways for leadership, to making it to work every day, to trying to get to bed before midnight. Honestly by the time she leaves for college we will barely notice a difference; that's how much she's NOT home now. Sniff.

Austin LOVED high school for the first week or so, and then he got used to it, and it just became school. His two honors classes are pretty demanding, and so with football, he is feeling a little too busy as well. But he's a good sport and tries his best in everything that he does. He is playing left-outside linebacker on defense, and is the back-up quarterback on offense. The first-string quarterback won't ever run, and hates contact, whereas Austin is a great runner. So the coach often puts him in when they get close to the goal line, and he scores on a quarterback keeper. Not sure how long it will take for the other teams to figure this out, but so far it's working. They've only lost one game, and Austin scores at least once in every game. Two games ago it was 4 touchdowns and 100 yards rushing. So he's having a great time.

Dallin is in the leadership club at school this year in fifth grade. He is also playing the trumpet in the band. He is very responsible about getting his homework done and is a conscientious student. He is a fun and funny kid to have around.

I am back to work as a part-time reading tutor and lunch/recess aide. There is much I could say about this experience; in fact a whole post's worth, no doubt. It really is a fascinating experience to work with kids every day. I work with 7 children one-on-one every day with the tutoring, and then as an aide I have contact with every child at the school, and know most of them by name. So both parts are interesting and have taught me a lot. I consider it a great blessing to have this job with the economy the way it is and with Brennan leaving on his mission.

About a month ago, my sis-in-law that lives nearby and I drove to Sacramento for Time Out for Women. It was so good to catch my breath for a moment and to hear inspirational and motivational messages of hope. I think it was my favorite Time Out so far (and I've been to several). I feel that I am definitely in the phase of life where I am running and planning and doing the laundry and helping with the homework and balancing the checkbook and doing my calling and cooking and cleaning and going to work while trying to be at the crossroads for my children and be a support and helpmeet to my husband. I feel like I've been in this phase for quite a number of years and that it just doesn't slow down.

I so appreciated Elder Holland's talk in the Saturday morning session of conference because frankly it's easy to feel like a blur myself, doing most things out of responsibility and few things for any other reason. Now and then it's good to be validated. And that applies to all of us! I also appreciated President Uchtorf's talk about simplifying and slowing down, and I think I practice most of those principles but I still feel breathless most of the time because even on a satisfying day when things go right, tomorrow in all of its glory is only a sunrise away. I hope there's enough of meaning in all of the busy.

I have so much to be grateful for. Too much to count, really. I enjoy being in my forties. I enjoy my growing children, and am so excited for Brennan to begin his great adventure. I will admit to being tired of this precarious economy and the effect it has had on our family, but I am determined to continue in faith and be optomistic. And to keep mixing milk, haha. I so appreciate Keith and all he is handling as he provides for us. [Another understatement.] It is through the interesting twists and turns of personal, family, and professional life that we learn and grow and become more refined, wiser, and with a more clear perspective on who and why we are. It's a fascinating journey, isn't it?

Next time with pictures.